a rare find

Like a good sales person, I always listen to the customers and sales people next door to the fudge shop. I saw this whole family come in and start chatting with the girl next door. I heard her polite, shocked expressions and wondered what was going on. I could hear everyone except a little, older lady and she was the one doing most of the talking. All I knew was that there was a secret. Being a fairly normal person, I wanted to know what the secret was, so I listened more carefully. It was to no avail. I would have to wait until they came into my shop and see if it came up in conversation.

I only had to wait a few minutes and then they came right over to the shop. The family pack was led by the older lady. She marched right up o my counter as I asked her how she was doing. She told me, “I’m doing well today! You wanna know something? I’m 105 years old.” Her daughter quickly interjected, “Mother, you’re not 105 yet. Not until next week. Quit lying to all these young people!” The mother winked at me and leaned up to the counter to get as close to me as she could. She asked me, “You wanna know my secret?” It was obvious that I was going to hear either way and I was curious to know what she would say. “I’m Irish.”  What do you even say to that? I nodded and said “ahhhhh” knowingly.

Come to find out, the woman’s three children with her that day were all in their 80’s. It was incredible! I would have guessed all their ages to be at least 10 years younger than they were. (I considered asking the mother if I could see her ID, but then I decided I better not.) The mother did not even use a cane. She told me that her other secrets were not having a doctor and not being on any medications. She has no fear of sugar problems either---I sold her a bit of chocolate.

In other random news, I’ve been testing tourists again recently to see how well they listen. Three or four out of dozens have passed. The number of people who gratefully eat chocolate that I describe as being made with dead flies, potting soil, or black squirrel droppings is high.